Hannah,

This is the third Christmas since you were born and went Home. Late last night, I sat staring at a picture of you laying at rest. You had a pretty pink outfit on, and you had a locket around your neck that contained a picture of each of your big sisters. You also held a yellow note from one of your sisters, and there was a light pink teddy bear at your feet. I stared real hard at your face and realized that while I knew you well for a few short months a few years ago, I didn’t really know you as well now. The memory of you is and always will be a great treasure, but I only knew you as a baby growing in her mom’s womb, and plus a day.

I wondered about how much joy you would have brought into our lives not just at Christmas, but all year through. I sat there and wondered what kind of Christmas gifts you would have received this year…and the next.

I know that your sister Grace has brought us a great abundance of joy since becoming a part of our family as a foster child a few months after you died. Grace is now adopted and she has helped me to appreciate the joy that you would have brought into our lives. I never knew there would be so much joy and yet troubles in raising a child.

Life has been a bit tough. These end days are sorrowful indeed here, just as God’s Word says. Your mama’s troubled by several afflictions. Her body is under constant attack and it fails her spirit. I think the biggest affliction she has though, is the hurt for you. It will be something neither of us will be able to understand until we come into the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. Why?

By God’s grace, and only by His grace, we have continued our lives the best we can without our precious child Hannah Ruth. By God’s grace we have continued to serve Him, though hard at times it can be. We don’t mourn you every day, but we do miss you every day. While it seems others choose to neglect your memory, we will never forget those precious few months we grew to know and love you.

We do eagerly anticipate the excitement and joy and fun of opening presents, celebrating the Lord, and spending time with family again this year. Christmas this year though, for me, seems to be just a bit lonelier than the last. With every day of joy that God’s gift of Grace and the rest of my family brings us, I wonder if the more it will be that we miss you.

We love you and look so forward to rejoicing with you one day soon in the presence of Jesus.

I love you,

Daddy