One thing has become clear since the announcement that Cole will be a big brother come September. His mother has become even more protective of her first baby than ever before.

So I’m concerned & worried (big shocker) how Cole will handle this huge change that’s coming at us. Nights when I’m up late rocking Cole to sleep, I hold him a little tighter and kiss him and hold his small hands in mine as his eyes slowly close. Nothing will change that he is my first born. He’ll be the oldest. He’s broken his parents in and he’s taught us how to properly diaper, bathe, and feed a baby. Nothing will change that I am his mom and that (as of now) I always get a smile when I get home with arms reaching up asking me to hold him. He’s my baby. And he always will be. Even when he’s grown and I have to ask for hugs, he will still be my baby Cole, even if I have to keep that to myself.

I’m protective of Cole. I want him to be okay. Nobody asked him if he wanted a sibling. Even though he likes babies now, will he like one living in his house, in his playroom, in his momma’s arms? Nobody asked him if it was okay that his world would be turned upside down? 

I’m torn. I can pretend baby isn’t here yet, but it is. My belly is proof. I am a mom to two children, no matter how unprepared I feel. I can try to deny that our lives haven’t changed “yet”, but REALLY the transformation has begun. The play room and toy bins have been cleared of baby toys and they’ve been set aside to be scrubbed and ready for the newcomer. The guest room has now become the baby’s room & is slowly collecting everything “infant” in the house.  It’s clear a baby is moving in.

Cole will soon get a big boy bed and his crib will be disassembled and moved into the a room down the hall. He’ll get to share his toys with his sibling and explain how they all work and get them to play music. Cole will be a wonderful big brother. But why, or why did he have to grow up so fast?

Love,
Shannon